Issue 35 | Part 4: Your Angel, Nadine by Swati Sudarsan | photograph by Michel O’Hara
"Maybe it was the wine, or maybe it was the soft buzz of excitement to finally be alone together, but there was a palpable frisson between them—their elbows brushing, their fingertips bristling..."
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Part 4: Your Angel, Nadine by Swati Sudarsan | photograph by Michel O’Hara
Nadine kept her body close to the Other Nadine’s body the entire car ride home.
Maybe it was the wine, or maybe it was the soft buzz of excitement to finally be alone together, but there was a palpable frisson between them—their elbows brushing, their fingertips bristling, one Nadine resting her chin on the other’s shoulder. A sweet heat came off the Other Nadine as she twirled her fingers into Nadine’s hair. She asked over and over like a schoolgirl, What are you thinking? What about now?
Nadine answered all her questions patiently, luxuriously even. I’m thinking about what’s for dinner, dear Nadine, I’m wondering if I should turn left here or the next street.
It made them both giggle—the idea that either of them could be thinking about anything other than what it would be like to get home.
“Ahhhh!” Nadine squeezed the Other Nadine. “We’re really doing this!”
“Yes,” said the Other Nadine, wrapping her arm around Nadine’s neck, prodding her nose into her hair. “Yes we are.”
And between them was their plan, like an ectoplasm, languid and oozing. Where one Nadine ended and the other started was lost somewhere in it. Only one thought cut through. A life together. It revved Nadine’s heart like a chainsaw, fed her heart-buzz, tender as it was voracious. Would it be weird if they kissed?
As they pulled into her driveway, Nadine’s phone buzzed. The weather app had updated itself:
Weather Watch: Extreme rainfall. Atmospheric disturbance. Winds.
The sky outside seemed to droop under its own weight, giant white clouds stirring above them. Rain began to drop onto the car, falling slowly at first, then with a steady insistence. Nadine shivered, despite the lingering heat of the wine in her cheeks and fingertips. For a moment she imagined the Other Nadine’s body siphoning off her natural heat like a parasite, growing in strength as it did. Let her have it, she thought. Wasn’t that exactly the type of sacrifice people make when building a life together?
A life together….
Read Part 4: Your Angel, Nadine.
Swati Sudarsan is an Indian-American writer who grew up in the Midwest. She has been nominated for the Pushcart Prize and Best of the Net. Her work is published in The Rumpus, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, Catapult, Denver Quarterly, and The Spectacle, amongst others. She was the 2023 recipient of the Bread Loaf Writers' Conference Katharine Bakeless Nason Award in Fiction, and has also received funding and support from the Tin House Workshop, the Kenyon Review, Kweli Journal, and more. She now lives in Brooklyn with her black cat Toothless.
Michel O’Hara is a writer and photographer living in Los Angeles, CA. Her most recent poetry can be found in One Art Poetry, The Rising Phoenix Review, The Blue Route, and The Sucarnochee Review. Her photography has been included in exhibitions at the Griffin Museum of Photography, Los Angeles Center of Photography, Lightbox Photographic Gallery, The Curated Fridge and PhotoPlace Gallery. Michel is currently pursuing her M.F.A. in Poetry at Antioch University Los Angeles.
Read Issue 35
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oh nadine and other nadine! i was waiting for the next part. so goooood! thank you.